Mi nombre es Gina Cochina Covarrubias de Ibarra, y te voy a matar.
This is a private blog, but I’m not all that uptight about who I add to my friend list. If you want me to add you, simply fill out this form and e-mail it to email@example.com.
Hello, my name is _______. I want you to add me to your friend list because…
__I am your husband, and I am pretending to be someone else so I can read what you are writing about me. __I am your ex-husband, and I am pretending to be someone else so I can see if you are writing about me. __I am hoping to become your fourth husband. __I am a stalker. You shouldn’t add me, but you probably will anyway. __I am a no-life-having harpy, and I want to read what you write so I can report back to my parenting message board. __I have had sex with you in the past, and I want to see if you wrote about it. __I think I may have had sex with you in the past, but I’m not sure, so I want to look around in your blog and see if anything seems familiar. __I am bad in bed, and I am hoping to pick up a few pointers. __I like to jack off to the things you write. __I want to be your friend so we can get drunk in front of our kids together. __I am already a friend of yours with whom you enjoy drinking in front of horrified children. __I am a childless friend of yours. I wanted to have children, but then I met you and I changed my mind. __We have an ex in common, and I want to talk shit about him in a hilarity-friendly environment. __You don’t even know my ex, but I want to talk shit about him anyway and I’ve heard this is a good place to do it. __I am a friend of someone who is already on your friend list, and they’ve highly recommended you. Or maybe not so highly.